All You Need Is Love?

Yehoshua Karsh, in his thoughtful blog, raises an interesting question (among many):

Imagine that you believe G-d doesn't love you. What would prayer be like? What if you believe He loves you, but doesn't like you, or He's not happy with you, what would you feel when you enter a synagogue?

First of all, the question was not asked about whether you love G-d or not. I think it matters. Without a positive response, the other answers are not particularly relevant. In my case, I do love G-d. 'Nuff said, and the Shema resonates for me, bigtime.

Having established the parameters, I neither believe G-d loves me or does not love me- I simply have no idea. I would like to think that He does but perhaps that is wishful thinking. In fact, for me, the question of love rarely arises, because somehow, I don't think that love is the answer.

Yet, when the question does arise, sometimes, I do imagine that I have been abandoned by G-d. What would prayer be like? It is important to stress that I would, first of all, continue to pray (as I do). What would it be like? It would be like it always has been, but with a lot of cursing (and has been).

If I felt that He loved me but at that point He didn't like me, well, then I would challenge Him and feel rather vexed.

If I felt that He loved me but that He was not happy with me, then I would be irked and wanting to know more, and hoping to get on His good side.

If I believed that G-d loved me, but He was in some manner disappointed in me- how would I feel when I enter a synagogue? I would feel remorse, I would do teshuva, I would try harder, I would be grateful for sanctuary. I would feel close. I would feel reverence. I would have hope. Whoa, this sounds like the answer!

On the other hand, if I thought that the Covenant gave me the right to challenge G-d, love doesn't have whole lot to do with it, which is probably where I stand.

Why does all this matter? It matters because belief and decision are the basis for all behaviour. It also matters because those Jews who are just trying to survive and don't have the luxury of asking these questions, simply live the answers.